Prey To The Monkey (Fallen)

Today I met a monkey

beneath a virgin sky

with mischief in it’s countenance

ambition in it’s eyes

It smiled and rose to greet me

as best a monkey can

and said to me I think

and therefore think I am

 

It bid me sit and talk awhile 

there underneath the trees

and offered me a drink it made 

of liquid and leaves

we sat across the fires haze

gazing through the smoke

drank our stone cups dry

and then the monkey spoke

 

It said “I aim to lose my fur

to be a naked ape

to shed this skin of simian 

and shun all that’s primate

I now intend to walk erect

no shambling gait or crawl

and speak with perfect eloquence

not mindless caterwauls”

 

‘Where once I swung through trees’ it said,

‘I now walk on the ground

and turn this tongue to voice, I strum

these chords of speech to sound

In this way I communicate

with others of my kind,

Express not only instinct but

all turnings of the mind

 

For I have dreams would drive

all other species mad in

such complex architect and number

none before have had

such visions, of myself, but risen

far beyond these trees

in geometric wonders in the skies

and on the seas

 

of shapes and colours lived within

defying air and space

a thousand creeds and breeds of mine

a rainbow of a race

But none of this would come to pass

If not for one small point

A matter of both bone and blood

of sinew, and of joint ‘

 

The monkey held it’s arms apart

and smiled as paws uncurled

“I have opposing thumbs you see

with which to hold the world’

Now I believe this raises me

above all bird and beast,

if evolution be an art,

I be it’s masterpiece, where

 

form and function, sentience

organically converge to

create a total greater than

the sum of those that merged

what brighter flame has ever burned

in evolutions fire

a prodigal primate savant,

mammalian messiah.

 

What other creature has, as I, 

the words to pass the wise

the sharper teeth of logic

or imaginations eyes

If not for me the world would turn on

blindly unaware

each animal unconscious of itself

and none would care

 

no Sentience would ponder on the

nature of lifes bluffs

or understand that simply to

exist is not enough.

For life’s a riddle, wrapped in puzzles,

buried deep in lies,

and I believe, beyond this skin,

a greater answer lies.

 

For surely it can not be true

that all this is by chance

That nature one day spun a web

and chaos came to dance

And in their footsteps left behind

an accidental seed,

that thin air grew to suns and stars

and finally flowered me.

 

That all this is coincidence

it beggars disbelief

so I have pondered long on this

and here is my belief’

 

Here the monkey paused and turned

it’s eyes towards the flames

and through the smoke I saw as it had spoke

that it was changed

and in the spaces time and place

had touched their brush upon

lay smoother skin where fur had thinned

and now was all but gone

 

Both gaze and brow were softer now

than were when first I sat

and vestiges of bestial were

slowly peeling back

and as it’s eyes returned to me

the gaze of man was plain

and glancing sadly at our cups

it then began again

 

it said ‘I understand that you

are not the same as I

for I am only flesh and bone

and thou art made of sky

Where I am born in blood and pain

and count my years in scores

you span the vast celestial

in ageless, faceless forms

 

for you are nature, lord, creator

God of many names

both Father to the firmaments

and Mother of domains

The Architect of all I see

from mote to black hole suns

I genuflect in prayer to thee

for all that you have done.

 

But though I know my debt to you

and owe you all I am

I cannot kneel forever lord

and so I now must stand

and as when any flower grows

by need there must be thorns

so I have taken, as they say,

the devil by the horns

 

to grant myself assurity

to not fall whim to tides

of fate and forces making but

that I alone decide

and though I wish it otherwise

it seems forever true

as night will follow day, so must

the old make way for new

So if you think me harsh or cruel

then keep this thought in mind

that life was not my game, my God

and these rules were not mine’

 

The monkey then grew silent and

my eyes began to dim

I made to stand but fell as urge

abandoned every limb

and as I lay with face to sky

the creature rose to stand

and kneeling gently by my side

it took my head in hands

 

and while I lay upon it’s lap

the darkness grew complete

a raindrop seemed to fall that tasted

both of salt and heat

and when it’s words words came back again

it seemed from far away

in many tongues and voices

the monkey then did say

 

‘If I am just an animal

then dust is all I be

it matters not what I do here

for there is only me,

so you are my delusion born,

 as madness spirals down

and I am just a species that

will soon be dead in ground.

 

But if I am a higher form

with spirit that persists

long after bones have had their say

and flesh no more exists

then I am of the heavens too,

an angel in the skin,

and your flame now must cease to burn

if mine is to begin

 

for i am otherwise the moth

that tries to reach the sun

and never understands the journey

is a pointless one,

a path that only ever ends

in ash or dead desire

so if I am to shine then I

must set myself afire

 

and all my passions, rage and pain

desires, love and hate

are fuels to feed my hearts inferno

sparks to light my fate

but these alone are not enough

for dreams as vast as mine are now

and so all life, each living thing

is kindling to me now

 

from plant to planet, seed to universe

I would consume

each scale and fin, all bark and skin

from fur to feathers plume

and I would not reserve my own kind

from ambitions flame

through mindless wars and endless causes

even in your name,

 

would I inflict upon my own

the stuff of nightmares dreams

for my survival is the end

that justifies all means

and if I burn the world to smoke

through turns and paths I choose

it matters not for why else is it here

but for my use?

 

the building blocks of life and stars

are toys with which I play

creation is my business lord

when you are gone away

and when all mysteries are revealed

and none are hid from view

then I will be as god, now you are gone

I will be you

 

and only then will I be free

and live in fear no more

not cower in the dark of night

not wait for teeth and claws

nor for disease to steal my breath

and leave me cold as stone

or age, like sleep, to come with masks

and powder up these bones

 

No Beast or Bird

or fish nor fire

from the sky or ground

will bite at me, nor water

rising up or falling down

will cover me like dirt when I am

flesh made into flame,

when I am incandescent then

FOREVER is my name

 

then I will be beyond the stars

and brighter than the sun

seraph wrapped safe in my OWN Grace

a bright and shining one

when I am light, and gone is night

and Death has run away

Then I Will Live Forever, GOD,

IN ONE ETERNAL DAY’

 

 

With this said, a silence fell

and nothing else was heard

no more the sound of wind in leaves

or songs of beasts and birds

the smell of trees and forests gone

and oceans wiped away

as if all things relied upon

had lived their final day 

 

so I lay there in this void

and slowly lived my last

and silence like a shroud

now wrapped around and held me fast

and when as if an age had passed

I heard a single sound

a solitary wailing

like a soul had came unbound

 

And when the creature spoke this time

it’s voice held no more thrall

it had no reason, had no rhyme

and made no sense at all

It spoke in words beyond its’ tongue

of worlds beyond its sight

danced in and out of lunacy

like sense had taken flight

 

It cursed me, wept, then begged me stay

not leave it here alone

in blinding, bright and sterile light

this deader white than bone

But I am almost gone within

this darker twin of birth

and pulse to me, like colour to the

blind now has no worth

 

So as it raves a thousand tongues

and screams in maddening light

and I now wake oblivion

to cease this dream of life

it sobs and rocks me back and forth

and as I fade away

I sense it gather up its’ self

as if with more to say

 

The splintered shards of voices

for one last time coalesce

as both my breath  and tidal pulse

now ebb and come to rest

and as I die it whispers the last

words I ever hear

 

‘I finally see

 

the truth of me

 

now I

 

am all

 

I fear’

 

 

 


———————

2003 ©opyleft by SCART (shane carter)

(Dedicated to my Mother, Viveene Carter)


					
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